Living in Japan and enjoying its little daily pleasures really is a dream come true for me and I owe it all to that four letter word which I'm sure many of us need more of;

W-O-R-K.

You thought I was going to say "Luck", didn't you? I admit that I am beyond lucky to have the wonderfully supportive and forever patient father I do. Whenever I said I wanted to do something, my father would always give me a huge shove in that direction and not let me go back on my word. Then he would stand at the sidelines and cheer me on. The first time I came to Japan was no different.

However, I'm here now on my own will and am I working my butt off to keep myself here. It is tearing me apart to teach absolutely gorgeous and absolutely hilarious children yet not be able to properly communicate with them. I love to teach - well no, that's wrong, I love to take responsibility, pass on knowledge I have earned and help support the younger generations. I can't do that right now. I'm stuck shoving English down their throats - and I've become extremely jealous of all those teachers around me who can do it.

Teaching is not something I want to do forever though - I think I should save my need to nurture and protective nature for when I have children of my own. My real goal is to work as a translator in a TV station - NTV to be exact. I wish to follow in the footsteps of the person whom I now call my hero, my inspiration. He is someone I admire deeply, and not just for his good looks - if he were a woman I would still wish the same. In any case, my dream is to be a translator, and maybe even a voice actor on the side - I've already started studying for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test again.

"Yeah but you can join fan clubs, and buy cool merchandise, and go to concerts. You even get their CDs cheap."

Comes with the territory, and is a reward for five years of extreme Japanese language learning.

(Excuse me, people I love. I'm about to get nasty.)

From now on every desperate soul who really has no idea other than the above statement is going to be instantly redirected to this message. Yes, that's right, you're a bunch of pesky tele-marketers who I'm feeding to the answering machine. I've seriously had enough of your shit. Introducing yourself so you can beg concert tickets or merchandise out of me...

"I can pay you back on the day."

What am I supposed to eat in the meantime?

"I understand if you don't want to do it. I hope we can still be friends."

No. I'm not making any friends with, let alone doing favors for, people who introduce themselves by saying, "Hi, I noticed you live in Japan. Think you could help me out?"

Yeah well I noticed you live in Whoop-Whoopland, and I'm planning on going there next week. Think you could set me up? That's okay, I don't mind sleeping in your bed...

You think I'm being extreme? If I buy YOU concert tickets, where am I supposed to sit? There are often limits on tickets you can buy and it's the luck of the draw if you get seats on the day you want, if you even get tickets at all. Hell, I'm probably WORKING on the days YOU want to go.

So no, I'm not buying tickets for the 100s of international "Me and my friend"-s who haven't done enough research, enough planning, or simply haven't saved enough to foot the bill of corrupt ticket sellers. (I have young friends overseas who sacrifice everything to do just that - I don't wanna hear your excuse.) I'm not buying merchandise, magazines or shop photos simply because 100s of "poor me"s have no idea what the fuck they're actually asking of me. Just try stepping foot in Japan for about a month. Can't do that? Well I have enough trouble doing it as it is without helping some selfish, inconsiderate stranger.

Now I can see certain people going on a huge guilt trip. Firstly, if I've spoken to you many times before I did you a favor then it's cool and it's because I love you. Secondly, if you're getting this message straight after you've "introduced yourself" or after only talking with me a few times, don't bother sending "Sorry" messages. I never want to hear from you again.

Sorry to be so harsh but I've been asked so many times now that it has just come to this.

End of discussion.